Week 2 Story: Pygmalion's Guide to the Perfect Woman

Are you a hero who has been unlucky in love because all the women in your town are terrible?

Do you also happen to be able to sculpt life-like statues of women?

Then Pygmalion’s Guide to the Perfect Woman is for you!

Hi I’m Pygmalion and I was once like you- a hero to all of Rome who to the outside world, seemed to have it all, but I had no one to share it with. Then I followed these simple steps to create the woman of my dreams and now I have everything!

Step 1: Be a Hero

For this to have a happy ending, you must be a well-established hero to the people of Rome.  when you marry your perfect woman at the end of the process, you won’t be total a total creep for falling in love with a statue. Instead, it’s charming and humanizes you to the public.

Step 2: Be in the Gods’ Good Graces

If you have made any of the gods mad at any time in your life, things may not turn out exactly the way you plan. These mishaps may include: your bride turning back into a statue occasionally, her rejecting you, or any number of things Venus thinks up. If you have angered Venus in anyway please close this book now and either accept that you will be alone for the rest of your life or marry one of those terrible girls in your town. Venus must be happy with you for this process not to end in complete tragedy.

Step 3: Sculpt Your Ivory Girl

Yes, you must be able to carve a statue of your most beautiful and perfect woman. She will be so perfect to you that you can’t tell if you are touching flesh or ivory when you stroke her cheek. You will kiss her lips and believe that hers are returning the kiss with twice the passion. You will hold her so tightly that you will be afraid to leave bruises on her flawless skin. You will compliment her and bring her the kind of gifts women love. You will dress her in the most beautiful clothes and adorn her in the most luxurious jewelry. You will share your bed with her at night and you will treat her like a queen because you love her so.

Step 4: Make Your Offering to Golden Venus

When the time is right, and you know that you just cannot live without your perfect girl any longer, attend Venus’s festival. After you have thrown your offering to Venus into the fire, pray that if the gods are pleased with you, then they will give you your ivory girl. If Venus deems you worthy, the fire will flare three times. When you return home that night, your girl of ivory will have become a real girl.

Step 5: Marry Her

For the final step, wife that girl up! Don't forget to invite Venus to the wedding to let her know how much you appreciate all she has done for you and your bride. 

I really hope all you heroes can now find the woman of your dreams! And once you've completed all five steps and are ready to take things to the next level, check out my next book: Pygmalion's Guide to Raising a Son So Great That Islands Will Be Named After Him.

Author's Note: This story is based off of the Roman myth of Pygmalion. In the myth, Pygmalion, a hero, lives the life of a bachelor but longs for love. He carves a statue of a beautiful woman and falls in love with it. Eventually, he prays to the Goddess of Love, Venus, that she will allow him to be with his "ivory girl." To show the gods' gratitude toward him and all that he has done for Cyprus, Venus grants his request by turning his statue into a real woman. Pygmalion immediately marries her and they soon have a son, Paphos, who the island is eventually named after. I really liked this story and felt it was one of the only myths to have a happy ending. I originally thought about changing the happy ending to a tragic one but then decided that was too cynical and instead decided to expand the happiness to other heroes in the myths. I thought that creating a guide for other people to follow made the whole statue love thing a little less creepy and really I just wanted people to get a good laugh out of it.


Bibliography. Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline (2000). Web Source.

Image Information. Pygmalion Seeing His Statue Come to Life by François Le Moine (1729).

Reading Notes: Anthology

I thought all of the stories were a great introduction to storytelling! I liked that we got a little taste of the ways different cultures tell their stories and learned about what is important to them when it comes to myths. It was also nice to know that all cultures have origin stories and stories about the supernatural and tricksters. Even though some of these cultures never interacted with one another, there are still common themes and events found in their legends and myths.

Out of all of the stories, my least favorite was The Indian Who Wrestled with a Ghost. Maybe it's because I'm not a huge fan of ghost stories in general because when I think ghost, I think horror and I don't do the horror genre. I also think it could have been that it didn't make much sense to me. I wanted answers about the old woman in the beginning and this skeleton man he battled. Was there supposed to be a message? If so I couldn't find it. I was also expecting it to be creepy or ominous which it was neither of. I don't know if I could fix the story to make it something I liked because I don't think I could stay true to the message of the story when I don't really understand it.

The story I liked the most was Pygmalion because I have a couple of ideas already on how I would tell it. While it was a little creepy, it had great detail and made you sort of understand how he could fall in love with a statue. A lot of Greek and Roman myths end in tragedy and misfortune so I wasn't expecting the happy ending at all! I kept thinking the statue was going to reject him or she wasn't going to turn fully human or Pygmalion would suffer public humiliation.  I could definitely rewrite the ending to be sad instead of happy. You never really know what the gods are going to do and I think exploring another god's reaction to Venus' decision to bring the statue to life would be cool. Another interesting concept would be seeing the story from the perspective of the statue and learning her feelings about all of this.

Pygmalion and his statue

Image Information: Pygmalion and Galatea by Jean-Léon Gérôme  (1824–1904)

Reading Options

Brothers Grimm (Crane)

I was interested in this unit because I was drawn to the classic fairytales. The stories described in this unit seem very different from what I was expecting, but in a good way. I was expecting to get princesses and all that goes along with that but instead apparently there are not safe for children fairytales and I kind of want to know what they are about. All the fairytales in this Unit seem very different from one another and I'm excited to read them.
(Source)

Tejas Legends

I was originally looking for some Indonesian stories because that's where I grew up but since it's mostly a Muslim country I wasn't sure if they would be influenced by the Middle East or Asia. Then I noticed the Texas stories in the Native American unit and figured if I wanted to do something about where I was from this would work! I'm interested in the storytelling style because they were described as charming and good for children so I'm excited to see how that comes to together

(Source)

Ovid's Metamorphoses (Books 1-4)

As I have mentioned before I love the Percy Jackson series and Greek Mythology so I really sought this unit out. I read Homer's The Odyssey in high school, and while it was interesting, I'm for something new and with a wide range of stories. I like to learn about all the different gods and goddesses and their interactions with people. 
(Source)

(Photo from WikiaCommons)

Time Strategies

Let me just be upfront and say that I have terrible time management. I procrastinate on pretty much all my papers and I'm late to everything. I keep a calendar of all my due dates and many checklists but time management is just not my strong suit. I try to work on it but I have ADHD so there is only so much that I can do. I do like to have a set schedule, though, I've found that keeps me from being so overwhelmed. They help remind me that everything I need to do can fit into this timeframe and that I will get it all done.

(Photo from Flickr) 

The Psychology of Checklists

This article intrigued me because I love to make checklists. They help me stay focused and not feel so overwhelmed by showing me exactly what I have to do and that usually it was less things than I thought. I liked learning about the science behind checklists and that they are actually helpful to time management. It lets me know that I'm doing something right and maybe I can do better with time management. I really just liked that basically all the things about checklists that I liked were backed by science. Checking things off when you've completed them is the best feeling in the world! Then to learn it's because your brain is rewarding you with dopamine is just awesome!
(Source)

4 Questions to Help You Overcome Procrastination

To be honest I was a little hesitant about the articles about overcoming procrastination because I didn't want to become overwhelmed with things to fix about my time management skills. I thought this article was a good compromise because it only had four things to focus on and I figured I could handle four things. Well turns out I'm only going to ask myself 3 of the questions. I don't like the one about fear because I don't think fear is a good motivator for everyone and I really don't want to send myself into a panic. When I'm procrastinating I'm very aware of what I'm doing and the fear is there and I get stressed anyways so like I said three is the way to go. When I feel myself starting to procrastinate I'll make sure to ask myself:

"What is one thing you can do to get started?"

"What are your three biggest priorities today?"

"What can you do to make this easier?"

(Source)

Class Tools: Technology

I'm really not a technology person. I still take written notes and buy physical copies of my textbooks. I like to keep things organized and open for me to see which I feel isn't really possible online. I'm excited to learn though! If I just follow your directions for new things I'm pretty confident that I'll be okay in the end.

I don't really have much to say on technology because I only really learn what I need to about it. I know how to get to google and Netflix and as long as my mom doesn't surpass me in tech knowledge then I'll consider myself good. I know that sounds really apathetic and I appreciate technology, it just isn't something I'm super into.

(Made with Make a Meme)

Assignments

I like the way this class is set up, especially the assignments. I think each person can be very unique and creative and therefore is more likely to enjoy the class. I've never taken an online class before and was honestly a little worried that I would forget about it. Now I really don't know how I could forget about it because I look forward to it everyday!

I'm especially excited about the storytelling assignments because while I enjoy the structure and ease of writing in APA format, I love creative writing! I also like reading other people's writings and see how they interpreted things differently from me. I've had to read Hamlet for twice now, the first time as a senior in high school and the second was for Intro to Letters spring of my freshman year. The difference in interpretation was incredible! I gained a real appreciation for Hamlet after that. That being said, I think I'm leaning towards doing the Storybook for my semester project.

School coming at me like...

(image: personal image of me. Photo taken August 2016)

Growth Mindset: First Impression

When Dr. Dweck started talking about The Power of Yet, my first thought was "Oh gosh! Not another one of these self-help, power of positivity crazy ladies." Then I watched a little bit more and realized she believed in the exact opposite of what those so-called gurus do. She is right to say that this generation was raised to be amazing and when we don't reach that mark of amazing we just completely shut down. I really like her ideas because they are still uplifting and give kids confidence but it's justly earned confidence. I also really liked how she has done actual studies with real numbers and real populations. The psychology major in me was just loving that she had cold, hard evidence to back her ideas up with.

On a person level, I know that I could really benefit from exploring this concept. I wasn't raised with a fixed mindset but a lot of things in school come easy to me so I think I've sort of developed one. I'm terrified of failing. It's not so much in school but in life. I'm not a huge fan of looking stupid or making mistakes in front of people. I've been told that this makes me come off very WASP-y and like I'm going to ask to speak to your supervisor when people first meet me. I really hope I can work on this because I think people with a growth mindset probably have more fun.

(Growth Mindset Memes)

I think that knowing about and educating myself on growth mindsets would be beneficial to me on a professional level, too. I plan to go into the business world eventually so I am currently a research assistant at the Industrial Organizational Research Lab which focuses on studying the workplace. We look at things motivation and leadership and I really think that studying the growth mindset in the workplace would be so interesting. Learning how it affects people outside of the school environment and in more of a real world setting would be fascinating! There are really so many different directions I could go with this and I actually kind of want to make it my research project.

Introduction to a Kid at Heart

Hello! My name is Kelly and I'm a junior at the University of Oklahoma majoring in Psychology! I'm from Houston, but when I was 3 years old my family moved to Indonesia and we lived there until I was 9. Living overseas allowed my family to travel to all kinds of cool countries in Asia and around the South Pacific. If you want to learn more about my travels check out my post about two of my favorite places!


While I love to travel, I also have interests that I can do a little closer to home. I love to golf and I've been golfing for pretty much my whole life. Both my parents play and our house is actually on the golf course! I played on my high school's varsity golf team all four years with two of my best friends, Madi and Emma.


I'm an only child so my parent's and I are really close. They are my biggest supporter's and they are the people I go to when anything in my life is happening, whether it's good or bad.  They like to send me pictures of their lives as empty nesters, especially when they are at a party and I'm studying for exams.

Mom, Dad, and Me

The light of my life is my dog, Auzzie, an Australian Shepard with one blue eye and one brown eye. He'll be 12 years old in November but you would never know because he still loves to have his bone thrown across the yard for hours on end without ever seeming to get tired. One of his other favorite activities is trying to herd the golf carts when they drive behind our house, especially when he knows they are going the wrong way.

Auzzie

Something that I think is kind of cool about me is that I've been collecting all the different state and national park quarters since I was really little. My grandma (my dad's mom) and I  would try get all the states that had been released that year when I would visit her over the summer. My dad and I started collecting the nation parks quarters when I was a junior in high school and it's something that keeps us connected when I'm away at school.

I love to read and watch TV. There is just something about being a part of a whole new world and getting a glimpse of someone else's life that really draws me in. I don't really have a favorite TV show but my favorite books are the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series and The Summer I Turned Pretty series.

Two of my most favorite foods are Kraft Three Cheese mac and cheese (my mom makes it the best) and grilled cheese with ketchup  on the side for dipping (which my dad makes the best). My favorite grown up foods are crab cakes or tortilla soup.

Thanks for reading a little bit about me!
(first image: personal photo of my parents and me. Photo taken November 2016)
(second image: personal photo of my dog, Auzzie. Photo taken January 2017)

Storybook Favorites

The Diary of a Dog

I really enjoyed these reinterpretations of Aesop's Fables by having them be from a dog's perspective. I liked that it was a reinterpretation instead of a retelling because it shows real creativity and gives the old fables an innovative update. The entire thing also read almost like a children's book (mainly due to fables always having a lesson to be learned) making it very fun and easy to understand. The author was very smart to use her own dog, Cedie, as the main character because her passion for both her dog and these fables really shown through. She also was able to include many really cute pictures of her dog in her storybook.

(fables found at The Diary of a Dog)

The Golden-Doodle and the Wolf

Dear Diary: Camp Olympus

I didn't mean to chose another story that was also a diary but I just love Greek Mythology so much! I was really drawn to this story in particular because one of my favorite book series is the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series and one of the main locations is a summer camp called Camp Halfblood. Like the previous storybook I read, this one also reinterpreted the myths into new events which always keeps things interesting. While the story of Poseidon and Athena fighting over Athens is a popular story, I didn't even realize the first story was based on that myth until the author's note. It was really nice to read something that was very original but stays true to the source material.

(myths found at Camp Olympus)

CSI: The Tales of the Seven Pilgrims

I love a good mystery and this was definitely a good mystery! It was really well thought out and very well written. I liked that the author used different stories and characters that all interacted with the merchant to create one big story instead of each story being a different crime. This storybook seemed like a combination of a reinterpretation and a retelling because obviously The Canterbury Tales wasn't a crime novel but the characters and their stories were the same as the source material. This version was also much easier to read than the original which is in Old English.

(tales found at The Tales of the Seven Pilgrims)

(image: The golden-doodle and the wolf, photo from me and the wolf, made with Face in Hole, original from Source)

My Favorite Places

I have travelled all over the world so choosing one place was a little hard. I decided to reveal my favorite place I've visited and also my favorite place I call home.

Mooloolaba, Australia

I first visited Mooloolaba when I was about 5 years old, and it is a place that I hold near and dear to my heart. All the memories I have of Mooloolaba are good ones. It's where I rode my first bike and learned to surf. I still remember our trip to the Australia Zoo and the amazing show Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, put on. To this day, my mom's background on her computer is a picture of me snorkeling on that trip. It's been probably 13 years since I've been to Mooloolaba but I can't wait to go back!

Me snorkeling in Mooloolaba

Steve Irwin putting on a Crocodile

Hunter Performance at the Australia Zoo

Alpha Omicron Pi

This charming little sorority house, often called the "Homicron" by it's residents, is located at the University of Oklahoma. I've had the pleasure of living in the AOII house for two years and it has truly been one of the best experiences of my life. While there are many places that I've considered home in my twenty years, there is just something  so special about living in a place where everyone who has lived there before you and everyone who will live there after you is connected.

The Xi Chapter House of AOII

(top image: personal photo of me snorkeling; photo from October 2005.)
(middle image: Steve Irwin Show at the Australia Zoo: Wikimedia Commons)
(bottom image: AOII House at OU: photo by Simon Hurst Photography)

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