Week 12 Story: Just Jack!

There once was a lad, named Jack, who ran away from home because he couldn’t deal with his abusive father anymore. He hated to leave his true love, the widow’s daughter from down the road, but he promised that one day he would return as a rich man and they would finally marry.

Jack ran and ran until he ran into an old lady in the woods. She thought he looked like a nice young man and offered him a nice salary if he would be her servant which Jack agreed to because he was very hungry. He served the old lady for twelve months and a day, and when the year was up, she brought Jack an ass from her stable. She told him to pull its ear and when Jack did, the ass brayed, and then dropped money out of it’s mouth and into Jack’s hand. Jack thanked the old woman for the ass and rode off into the sunset.

Jack thought about returning home but he felt that he didn’t have enough to take care of his true love, so he began to search for another job. A carpenter thought he would make a good assistant, so he told Jack that if he served him for a year and a day he would pay him well. After the year was up, the carpenter presented Jack with a table that if told “Table, be covered,” would fill up with plenty of food and drinks. Jack thanked the carpenter for the table, put it on the back of the donkey, and rode off into the sunset.

Jack felt that he could return home to his true love now, but since it was dark he decided to stay at an inn for the night and continue his journey in the morning. Jack thought no one saw him pull the donkey’s ear to get money for the room or cover the table, so he and the donkey could eat, but the innkeeper saw it all. That night the innkeeper stole the table and the donkey. When Jack awoke the next morning, he asked the innkeeper to fetch him his donkey and table, but the innkeeper told him that they were his now and threw him out the door into the river.

A man picked him up from the river and asked if Jack would help him build a bridge across it. Jack agreed and the two used a tree to create the bridge. Once the work was done, the man tore off a branch of the tree, whittled it into a club, and told Jack that when it was told “Up stick and bang him,” the club would beat up anyone who angered him. Then the man gave the club to Jack as payment for his help.

Jack immediately went to the inn and commanded the stick to beat the innkeeper until he gave him back his table and donkey. Once he had all three of his magical items, he rode back as fast as he could to his true love! They got married later that summer, serving all their friends and family with their magical table and then riding off into the sunset on their magical donkey.

The End

(Photo from Buzzfeed)

Author’s Note: This is based of The Ass, the Table, and the Stick by Joseph Jacobs from the English Fairy Tales Unit. In the original story, the beginning is similar but instead of searching for another job, Jack heads back to his father’s house and stops at an inn for the night. The innkeeper won’t let him in without payment first, so Jack shows him the cool trick his donkey can do. That night the innkeeper switches out Jack’s magic donkey with a regular one and Jack rides away the next day with no clue as to what just happened. When he gets home, Jack asks his dad if he can marry the maiden and his dad says only if he can provide for her. Jack says he can and pulls on the donkey’s ear, but nothing happens so his dad beats him and causes Jack to leave again. Jack goes through the same cycle: works, gets a magical table, shows the innkeeper, there’s a secret switch, humiliates himself in front of dad, gets beaten, runs away, works, and finally gets a magical stick. Jack beats the innkeeper up with the stick until he gets the ass and table back and when he returns home he finds his father dead. He is now very rich and wants to marry someone, so he has all the maidens in the town come with all their money in their aprons. His love has no money but comes anyways and when Jack sees her he tells her to stand aside because she has nothing. She begins to cry diamonds, so Jack tells the stick to beat all the other girls causing them to drop their money and run away. Jack then gives the maiden the dropped money and tells her she is now the richest girl in town, so he will marry her.

 You can see why I changed a lot of the story because Jack was a real jerk in the original. Like he kept causing his own downfall and then he gets to come out on top? No sir! So I made him much nicer and made his main motivation providing for the maiden.

Bibliography. The Ass, the Table, and the Stick by Joseph Jacobs with illustrations by John D. Batten (1890). Link to reading

(Photo from Tenor)

Week 10 Story: How The Cactus Got Its Color

Long ago, the flowers on the cactus were white but they so desperately wanted to have color. The rainbow had given other plants and flowers color, but it never came near the cactus plants.

“Hey, Rainbow! Next time would you please set one of your ends near us so that we can get some color?” A cactus plant called up to the rainbow one day after a rainstorm which was the only time that the rainbow appeared.

“No! Your thorns are too sharp! I will never set one of my ends near you and you will never get color!” The rainbow yelled back at the cactus plant.

This made the cactus plants very sad and caused their flowers to close up and droop. They understood because they didn’t want to hurt anyone, but they also wanted to be included. They spent their days watching as all the other plants got color from the rainbow and prayed to the spirits that one day they could get color too. The spirits must have been listening because one day around sunset, a lost cloud drifted over the cactus plants.

The cloud had been chasing its tail all day like a puppy causing it to get separated from the other clouds. It needed to find the mountain soon because after the sun set it would be time for the cloud to go to sleep. Clouds sleep at the peaks of mountains because they grow tired and heavy while waiting for the rains to come. The little white cloud began to cry and he rained down on the cactus plants. This caused the cactus plants to grow very excited because rain meant that the rainbow would come back and maybe give their flowers color. Instead, the lost cloud became tired and started to sink down into the cactus plants.

The cactus plant who had called up to the rainbow now called out to the cloud, “Hey, little cloud! Watch out! We don’t want our spikes to hurt you!”

The cloud looked over at the cactus plant who had spoken to him, but it was too late because he was already touching some of the taller cactus plants spikes. The cloud began to giggle and cried out, “These spikes tickle!”

This made the cactus plants laugh with happiness. The cactus flowers, never wanting to be left out, opened back up to see what was going on. As soon as the flowers touching the cloud opened up, they began to drink in the red, orange, and yellow colored mist left on the cloud from the sunset. The cloud noticed this and began to scoot between the cactus plants, so that all the flowers could get some color. The entire time the cloud giggled as the spikes continued to tickle him.

When the sun rose in the morning, all the cactus flowers had color. The mountain was now visible again, so the cloud said his goodbyes and floated off to be with his cloud friends.

The End.  

(Photo from Pinterest)

Author’s Note: This is based off two stories from the Tejas Legends Unit, When The Rainbow Was Torn and The Cloud That Was Lost. In the story When The Rainbow Was Torn, the rainbow has given all the other flowers color except for the white cactus flower because of it’s sharp thorns. One day the rainbow accidently starts placing one of its ends on field of cactus plants. Only the red, orange, and yellow colors get stuck on the spines while green, blue, indigo, and violet slip away. The white cactus flowers open and pulls some of the vapor from the three colors before the rainbow can get unstuck. Therefore, the cactus flowers are those three colors. In the story The Cloud That Was Lost, a cloud gets distracted playing and can’t find his way back to the mountain to sleep with the other clouds, so he decides to sleep in a field. The field is covered in white flowers who also want color. The cloud is still pink and purple from the sunset, so the flowers pull the vapor from him until he is all gone. This is why wild phlox are the colors they are. In my reading notes I talked about how I felt bad for the cloud basically getting punished for getting lost and how the rainbow couldn’t get away from the cactus fast enough when it got stuck. I wanted to change these two aspects and I felt it was best to combine the two stories.

Bibliography. The Cloud That Was Lost retold by Florence Stratton and illustrated by Berniece Burrough (1936). Links to reading

Bibliography. When The Rainbow Was Torn retold by Florence Stratton and illustrated by Berniece Burrough (1936). Links to reading

Week 9 Story: Vanida and the Spirit-Guarded Cave

“Long ago, the people of the far north were constantly being attacked so they decided to pack up all their household possessions, cattle, rice, money, and jewels and escape to the south country. They knew that they would become slaves but thought that was better than living in fear. They journeyed through jungles and mountains, eating all their rice and cattle along the way, causing them to eventually have to stop and buy food in a town along the way. The people in the town saw all of their money and jewels and looked at them with greedy eyes. The travelers began to grow nervous that they would be slain for their worldly goods.
 
One man, wiser than the rest of the group, said, “Why do we risk death over our possessions? Let us leave them in some secret place and when happier days return to us, so will we to our possessions.” The travelers agreed with the wise man and since they were in the favor of the spirits, they were guided to a cave deep in the forest where they left their money and jewels. 

Generations passed and the story of the cave and its treasure was spread across the land. Many people tried to get to the treasure but the spirits who guarded it always drove them away. Even the white, foreign strangers, were driven back by the faithful spirits when they endeavored to enter the treasure chamber. For all time this treasure shall remain there, and verily it will remain untouched forever.” Vanida’s grandmother finished the story dramatically.

“Oh, that was the best telling yet, Grandma!” Vanida exclaimed as she clapped her small five-year old hands together. She had heard the story of The Spirit-Guarded Cave many, many times, but it was still her favorite of the Laos folklore. She insisted that her grandmother tell the story every time she came to visit.

“Vanida, have I ever told you about the wise man from the story?” Her grandmother asked. Vanida just shook her head in response. “Well he was your great-great-great grandfather. He was the one who began passing the story down from generation to generation in the hopes that one day, when our people were no longer enslaved, that one of his decedents would be able to retrieve the treasure from the cave.”

“I’ll do it! I’ll get the treasure Grandma!” Vanida cried as she jumped up from her spot on the floor.

“I know you will sweetheart,” Her grandmother replied as she pulled her into a hug.

Many years passed and Vanida grew up from the little girl who loved to hear her grandmother tell stories into a beautiful, young woman whose family had fallen on hard times. It had been a long time since her grandmother had told her the story of the Spirit-Guarded Cave, but she had never forgotten about it.

Late one night, Vanida snuck into her grandmother’s room and gently shook her awake, “Grandma, I know how to help our family. I am going to find the cave from the story and get back the treasures of our ancestors.”

“Do be careful, sweetheart, and let the spirit’s guide you.” Her grandmother advised. She had thought about telling her that is was too dangerous but knew that nothing would change her granddaughters mind. Vanida gave her grandmother a kiss on the forehead, grabbed her pack of food and water, and disappeared into the night. 

Vanida realized after about thirty minutes of walking that she had no clue where exactly the spirit cave was. She stopped and chastised herself for just boldly charging into the situation without thinking it through and was about to turn around to return home, when she remembered her grandmother’s advice. The girl had always loved the spirits and treated them with the upmost respect so she hoped they would help her. She stood still for a moment, just listening to the wind rustle the trees around her, until she felt something pull her towards the mountains. 

Vanida let the spirits guide her deep into the woods near the mountains and up to the mouth of a cave. She knew all the things that the spirits liked to do to people coming to steal the treasure, but at that moment she wasn’t scared. She felt safe and protected by the spirits and entered the cave without fear. She entered the treasure chamber unharmed and collected enough money and jewels to fill her pack, while still leaving plenty behind to be found by other descendants. Vanida thanked the spirits for their protection and headed home, knowing that her family would be saved.  

(Photo from Wikimedia Commons) 

Author’s Note: This story is a continuation of The Spirit-Guarded Cave from the Folklore of Laos. I summarized the original story in the beginning of this story but I highly recommend checking out the original version because it was really good. I mentioned in my reading notes that I would love to do a continuation of the story because the ending seemed like it was left kind of open. I felt it would be really depressing for the treasure to never be found and thought that maybe the spirits would let a descendent of the travelers claim the treasure. 

Bibliography. The Spirit-Guarded Cave by Katherine Neville Fleeson, with photographs by W.A. Briggs (1899). Links to the reading
 

Week 6 Story: Knowledge is Power

There once was a young man named Nour, who spent his days reading the ancient records in the House of Life. He loved to read the scrolls and books and the inscriptions on the walls because he wanted to learn as much as he could. One day when Nour had gotten completely lost in his readings, an older priest came up and tapped him on the shoulder.

“I am so sorry to have startled you!” The priest apologized to Nour, who had jumped, “You just remind me so much of a man who used to come here many years ago when I was a much younger priest. His name was Nefer-ka-ptah and he too loved to come here to read the ancient records.”

“I know that name! Written next to his name was the name of his wife and his child and the date his name was registered but nothing else. What happened to him?” Nour asked the priest.

“His death was not registered here in the House of Life. The gods do not like people to know what happened, but I will tell you his story anyways. One day when Nefer-ka-ptah was visiting the House of Life, a priest told him he could gain great power from the Book of Thoth which was guarded by many boxes, crawly creatures, and snake that no man could kill. Nefer-ka-ptah knew he could get this book so he convinced his wife and son to travel with him to the Southern Land where it was located. He defeated the snake no man can kill, he froze the crawly creatures with a spell, and opened all the boxes until he got to the Book of Thoth. As soon as he opened the first page, he was overwhelmed with great power. Immediately, he began to write the spells down, then wash away the words with beer, and drink the beer, so that he could learn the spells. Thoth was enraged that someone had found his book so he punished Nefer-ka-ptah by drowning his son and then his wife. Nefer-ka-ptah realized what Thoth was doing and tied the Book of Thoth to himself before he jumped into the river and drowned himself. The book remained tied to him until his body was found on the shores of the Northern Land, where his father, the King, decided that the book would be buried with his son and it has remained there since then.”

Nour sat in silence for a minute, thinking about the story of Nefer-ka-ptah and the Book of Thoth. He had so many questions that he didn’t know where to start.

“What is so special about the Book of Thoth?” He decided to ask.

“Thoth wrote the book himself and it contains all the magic of the world. The first page contains a spell that allows you to talk to animals and the second page contains a spell that allows you to perceive the gods themselves.” The priest answered.

Nour talked to the priest about the Book of Thoth for a few more hours and when night fell, he left the House of Life and headed home. For some reason, he took a different path than usual, which found him walking past the North Land shore; the final resting place of Nefer-ka-ptah and the Book of Thoth. Curiosity got the better of the young man and followed the trail that led to the Egyptian prince’s tomb. He could feel the magic from the book getting stronger with each step he took closer to the tomb, like it was drawing him to the tomb. Before Nour reached the entrance, he turned around and ran home because he knew what he had to do.

Nour spent the rest of the night and all the next day working on his creation. When the sun set, he set out for the tomb again, but this time he was prepared. Just like the night before, the Book of Thoth’s magic called to him and this time he let it pull him all the way to the entrance. He walked into the tomb and up to the coffin where prince and the book were supposed to stay sealed in for all eternity. Nour pushed off the heavy metal lid of the coffin and grabbed the Book of Thoth. The ghost of Nefer-ka-ptah appeared before the young man and tried to seize the book back from the young man.

“Give me the book! The power it contains is not worth the price you will pay!” The prince yelled at him.

“No! I’m putting this book back where it belongs!” Nour dug around in his bag for his creation. He hadn’t opened the book even though he was tempted too but he knew what the prince said was true. The knowledge contained in the pages of the Book of Thoth was too great for humans to have.

Nour pulled his creation out of the bag and presented it to the ghost. It was a small box, just big enough for a book, with a latch and lock on the side. He placed the Book of Thoth into the box, shut the lid, and locked it up. He knelt to the ground and held the box up to the sky.

“Oh, great and powerful Thoth, god of knowledge, please take your book and hide it once more. The contents of this book are too much for any human to know.” Nour called out.

A bright light started to appear causing Nour to squeeze his eyes shut. When he opened them, the box in his hands was gone, the ghost of Nefer-ka-ptah was no where in sight, and the lid to the coffin was firmly back in place. Everything had been returned to how it was before, but for some reason Nour felt different. He just shrugged it off and headed home, deciding to investigate more in the morning when he would make his daily trip to the House of Life.

(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

Author’s Note: This is based off the story The Book of Thoth which I gave a summary of in the story above. I felt that in the original story, Thoth came after the prince for no reason because the prince never said or even implied that he was going to use the power he gained for evil. He was died very soon after reading the book so we never got to see him in action. I wanted to retell this story with the main character being intrigued by the knowledge of the book and not the power that it could give them. I decided to have Nour not open the book because I felt that it would have ruined the message I was trying to get across. If he had gotten the power of the book and then given it back to Thoth with the reason that it’s not for mortals, it would have come across that he is better than other people who have come before him. He is a person who has a passion for knowledge and for him to not open the book I think reveals a lot more about him anyways than if he had opened it. I also decided to leave the ending open for more adventures in case I get the chance to write another story.

Bibliography. The Book of Thoth by Donald Mackenzie, link to Part One.

Week 5 Story: The Tale of a Sorority Girl

Kay walked through the front door of her sorority house and into the living room to find one of her roommates sitting on the couch reading a textbook.

“It’s ten o’clock don’t you usually do that in bed?” Kay asked.

“Yeah but Trish is getting ready to go out…” Melanie trailed off as she gave her roomie a look that had been passed between the two of them many times before.

“To go see Chad?” Kay asked even though she already knew the answer. Melanie just nodded in response while rolling her eyes, so Kay plopped down onto the other couch in the room. The two of them had been finding themselves in this position more and more over the course of the semester. They were waiting to intercept their third roommate, Trish, and stop her from going out. They didn’t mind that Trish went out to parties, and they would even be going with her, if it wasn’t for Chad.

Chad was Trish’s latest hook up and he was by far the worst. Every time Trish went out and saw him, the next morning she would stumble back into their room swearing she was never going to see him again and made her two best friends promise they would stop her. The first time Kay and Melanie tried to stop her, they failed miserably. Of course, they would be the first to admit they messed up by simply telling Trish not to go see Chad because Trish does what she wants, especially when she’s told no.

The two quickly learned that to get Trish to stop seeing Chad they needed to make her think it was her own idea. They did this by telling her a story that either took so long that it was too late to go out by the time they finished it, or convinced her to go to a different frat party.

After about fifteen minutes of waiting, Kay and Melanie heard Trish laughing with a group of girls coming down the stairs. They didn’t even need to discuss what they were going to say because the same series of events happened every time Trish was going to see Chad. She began by telling Kay and Melanie she was going out and that they shouldn’t wait up for her with a wink. One of them would ask if it was to see Chad and Trish would act all coy and then reveal some problem she was worried about with him. The girls would assure her everything would be fine and not at all like insert person they all know who has a story that is relevant to your situation. Then she would demand to know the nature of this story and they would gladly tell it to her.

“I’m going out tonight ladies! Don’t wait up for me!” Trish called from the living room entrance, giving her roommates her trademark wink at the end.

“You going to see Chaaaaaad?” Kay asked.

“Maybe… I’ll see if I can fit him into my busy schedule.” There was the coy response, which would be followed up with an issue, “He’s been really distant lately. He hasn’t been snapping me back right away and he almost let our streak die.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine and you’ll smooth things over.” Melanie chimed in, “Just don’t be like Courtney and Derek and you’ll be good.”

“Courtney and Derek?! What happened with Courtney and Derek?! Tell. Me. Everything.” Trish exclaimed as she ran over and sat on the ground in front of them. Her shrieks about the senior power couple of their sorority drew the girls who were waiting in the front hall in to the living room too.

“Okay well…”  Kay began.

The two told the group the story of Courtney and Derek and once they were finished it caused someone else in the group to tell a story and then someone else and so on. They did this until Kay looked at her phone to check the time.

“Oh my gosh, Trish! We’ve been talking forever! You need to go see Chad!”

Trish would get up, intending to go to him, but then the first of the walk of shame girls would come through the front door and the sun would peak through the windows, and her visit would be put off.

(Personal Photo of my roommates and I,

who may or may not have inspired this story, from April 2016)

Author’s Note: This story was a retelling of Tales of a Parrot, where a parrot tells his mistress a story every night to keep her from visiting her lover. As I mentioned in my reading notes, this immediately reminded me of a friend I have who we would have to convince not to go out and see this guy because he was just not good for her. It’s also super common when living in a sorority house to be getting a snack or just needing to borrow a pencil from someone and then being drawn into a 2-hour long discussion about the difference between snappy casual and business casual. I tried to use some of the phrases that were in every chapter of this story and made you want to scream every time you saw them (if you read this story this week you know what I mean) because you felt like you were living in some kind of groundhog’s day situation.

Bibliography. The Tooti Nameh or Tales of a Parrot by Ziya'al-Din Nakhshabi, links to the reading here

Week 4 Story: The Trial of Niobe

Niobe opened her eyes to find herself in a strange place that looked like an empty court room. The light shining through the windows was tinted red and she could hear something in the distance that sounded like tortured screams. Suddenly, the doors burst open and in strode a man that she immediately knew as Hades, King of the Underworld. He was dressed in robes so black that it felt like you were staring into an abyss when you looked at them, and his equally as dark hair contrasted with his pale, almost translucent, skin. The god stepped up to the bench, unrolled a scroll, and began to read from it.

“Niobe, daughter of Tantalus and wife of Amphion, now that you have died and escaped your rock prison, it is time for you to be judged and receive your punishment in the afterlife.” Hades booming voice echoed through the room, “You are being charged with fourteen counts of reckless child endangerment and fourteen counts of manslaughter. How do you plead?”

“Not guilty, your Honor.”

“Then let the trial begin!” Hades bellowed. The doors at the back of the court room burst open again and in walked a small crowd of people. Leto, the goddess Niobe had insulted so many years ago, strode up to the front and sat at the table next to Niobe’s. Her children, Artemis and Apollo, sat behind her and other miscellaneous gods filled in the rest of the seats. Then in a complete surprise twist that no one saw coming, Niobe’s children walked in and sat in as the jury for their mother’s trial.

“Now unlike your stupid mortal court, I will be the one asking the questions and I will be the one deciding your fate, Niobe.” Hades announced. “Of course, the jury does help me make the decision on the severity of the punishment, however with a jury made up of your children lets hope they are lenient, but also considering your actions are the reason for their deaths… I wouldn’t count on it.”

“My dear brother, I would like to call my son, Apollo, as my first witness.” Leto smiled sweetly as she said this.

“Objection! This entire thing is a conflict of interest and will lead to a direct bias against me!” Niobe stood up and yelled.

“Sweetheart, everything we Olympians do is a conflict of interest, if you haven’t noticed, so sit down and don’t make this worse for yourself.” Hades replied. “Now Apollo, please tell the jury about the day Niobe insulted your mother and my sister, Leto.”

“Uh well it was a few decades ago, so of course I remember it like it was yesterday. I created a beautiful sunrise, one of my top ten of all time, man. I bet my sunrise is what stirred that divine impulse in that chick, Manto, because right after that she was telling everyone to put laurels in their hair and bring offerings and stuff to the temple in honor of Mom, my sister, and I. It was super awesome, but then this lady who looked like she would totally name drop Zeus, ruined the whole thing.” Apollo answered in his surfer dude way.

“Do you see that woman in the court room?”

“Yeah, actually I do. She looks a little different, her face is kind of puffy almost like she had been crying for the last half a century.” Apollo answered pointing at Niobe.

“The witness has identified Niobe as the horrible woman who stopped the wonderful, spontaneous day of celebration!” Hades dramatically told the jury, “Apollo, please tell us what happened next.”

“Uh yeah this lady- I mean Niobe- just starts ragging on Mom and saying how much better she is because she has fourteen children and she is super rich and how Zeus is her great-grandfather. Told you she would name drop Zeus! Anyways, she tells everyone she should be worshipped for being a great mother instead of my mom and sent all the people away from the celebration. Well nobody messes with my mom so my sis and I decide it’s time to teach Niobe a lesson.”

“And how did you teach her this lesson?” Hades inquired.

“By shooting and killing all seven of her sons,” He answered sheepishly.

His answer caused some restlessness among the jury so Hades thanked Apollo for being a witness and dismissed him from the stand, but before he left he called out to the jury, “Oh yeah I almost forgot! To the one dude who prayed for me not to kill you? I totally heard you man and was going to let you live but I had already shot the arrow so that one was my bad.”

As Apollo returned to his seat, Leto called Artemis to the stand as her second and final witness.

“So, Artemis, Apollo killed Niobe’s sons why then did you kill her daughters? Did Niobe not learn her lesson?” Hades inquired.

“We were totally going to stop after the sons and spare the daughters.” She told the jury, her eyes pleading for them to believe her, “We were so moved by the sight of all of you mourning the loss of your brothers and sons that we thought we had gotten through to you, but then your mother screwed it up.”

“How did Niobe mess this up?” Hades asked.

“As she was begging and crying for us to spare you she turned to the sky and asks us where our victory was because she still had more than us.”

Everything in the room just stopped for a moment as everyone let that sink in.

“Wait... so as she is asking Leto for a favor, she also insults her?” Hades asks with a confused look on his face.

“That’s exactly what happened.” Artemis replied.

“So how did you respond?”

“I shot and killed her daughters and then as Niobe was crying over the bodies of her children and her husband, who had been driven to kill himself because of all of this, Mom turned her into granite on the mountain side where she stayed until she showed up here.” Artemis answered.

“Okay that’s it! This trial is over! I have made my decision! I do not want you here in my Underworld so I am turning you back into granite for all of eternity and that is final!” Hades announced.

The next time Niobe opened her eyes she was surrounded by granite and had a nice mountain view.

(Photo of the Weeping Rock, also known as Niobe's Rock, from flickr)

Author’s Note: This was a pretty accurate summary of the myth of Niobe and how her pride got the best of her. The original of course is much longer and not near as funny as mine. I also changed all the gods from their Roman names to their Greek ones because that is just easier for me to keep up with and I feel like it would be easier for yall too. I was originally going to have another god commentate on the whole thing, but I stumbled across the afterlife trial idea as I was looking though the story ideas and I decided that this would be a much more interesting way to summarize the story. I also wanted to make the characters more causal and use more modern language because I feel that the formal way some of these myths are written really take the humanness out of the stories, therefore making it hard to see them from different perspectives. I just hope you guys all thought Niobe was as annoying as I did and enjoyed her trial.

Bibliography. “Niobe Rejects Latona” from Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline. Web Source.

Week 3 Story: The Wendy and the Sunni

There were once two sisters, Wendy and Sunni, who were always in competition with one another. Constantly trying to figure out who was the fastest, strongest, or smartest. One day they decided to figure out who made friends the best because there was a new family moving in across the street. The family had a little girl about their age so the sisters chose her as their new friend to make. Their older brother J.J., having overheard them make their little bet, reminded them:

“Kindness effects more than severity.”

Wendy just scoffed at him and told him to butt out and to quit being such a weirdo before heading across the street. Sunni disappeared inside leaving J.J. to watch Wendy’s attempt at making a new friend. She went right up to the new little girl and said, “You’re my friend now! We are gonna go over to my house and play!”

Wendy grabbed the girls hand to bring her across the street but the girl resisted. This caused Wendy to pull harder and insist more but the girl kept her feet firmly planted. Eventually, Wendy let go of the girls hand, whipped around, and snapped, “Fine! I didn’t want to be friends with you anyways!”

Wendy ran back over to the yard and stomped up the steps to where her brother was sitting on the porch. She sat down next to him in a huff with a pout on her lips and her arms crossed just as Sunni came back outside with a plate of cookies in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. She skipped across the street and right up to the neighbor girl, without spilling any milk somehow, and introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Sunni! I live across the street. What’s your name?”

“Barbara. Are those chocolate chip?” The girl asked pointing at the cookies.

“Yup! My mom just made them so they’re still warm and gooey. I also brought milk so we could dunk the cookies in it.” Sunni replied as she thrust the glass out towards her new friend. Barbara took a cookie from the plate, dunked it in the milk, and sat down on the edge of the porch so her legs hung off. Sunni sat down next to her with the plate between and they began to chat. After they finished their cookies, Sunni brought Barbara across the street and introduced her to Wendy and J.J. From there the three girls continued to play and went on to be great friends even if Barbara and Wendy got off to a rocky start.

(Photo from tinygreenmom)

Author’s Note: This is based on The Wind and the Sun, a fable about a competition between, you guessed it, the Wind and the Sun to see who is strongest. They decide the best way to figure this out is to see who can get the traveler on the road in front of them to take his coat off the fastest. The Wind goes first and blows as hard as he can to get the traveler to take his coat off, but it seems to have the opposite effect and the traveler just keeps pulling it tighter to keep warm. So the Wind gives up and now it’s the Sun’s turn. He shines brightly warming the traveler up enough that he immediately takes his coat off. The moral is that “kindness effects more than severity.”

I was trying to write this differently with the girls in high school and having a competition to see who made the most friends but it was coming out more like The Tortoise and the Hare in message and in story. I decided to make the girls younger and only have them try to make one friend. I think it’s pretty straight forward other than that. I hope you like their punny names (Sunni and Wendy) and I made their older brother J.J. for Joseph Jacobs, the folklorist who these fables came from. It turns out Barbara means travel in Greek and she is supposed to be the traveler from the original story so that is where that came from. I discovered I really don’t like retelling fables because I just want to write these long complex stories with a ton of dialogue. I loved reading them though but this will probably be my only fable story.

Bibliography. "The Wind and The Sun" from The Fables of Aesop by Joseph Jacobs. Web Source.

Week 2 Story: Pygmalion's Guide to the Perfect Woman

Are you a hero who has been unlucky in love because all the women in your town are terrible?

Do you also happen to be able to sculpt life-like statues of women?

Then Pygmalion’s Guide to the Perfect Woman is for you!

Hi I’m Pygmalion and I was once like you- a hero to all of Rome who to the outside world, seemed to have it all, but I had no one to share it with. Then I followed these simple steps to create the woman of my dreams and now I have everything!

Step 1: Be a Hero

For this to have a happy ending, you must be a well-established hero to the people of Rome.  when you marry your perfect woman at the end of the process, you won’t be total a total creep for falling in love with a statue. Instead, it’s charming and humanizes you to the public.

Step 2: Be in the Gods’ Good Graces

If you have made any of the gods mad at any time in your life, things may not turn out exactly the way you plan. These mishaps may include: your bride turning back into a statue occasionally, her rejecting you, or any number of things Venus thinks up. If you have angered Venus in anyway please close this book now and either accept that you will be alone for the rest of your life or marry one of those terrible girls in your town. Venus must be happy with you for this process not to end in complete tragedy.

Step 3: Sculpt Your Ivory Girl

Yes, you must be able to carve a statue of your most beautiful and perfect woman. She will be so perfect to you that you can’t tell if you are touching flesh or ivory when you stroke her cheek. You will kiss her lips and believe that hers are returning the kiss with twice the passion. You will hold her so tightly that you will be afraid to leave bruises on her flawless skin. You will compliment her and bring her the kind of gifts women love. You will dress her in the most beautiful clothes and adorn her in the most luxurious jewelry. You will share your bed with her at night and you will treat her like a queen because you love her so.

Step 4: Make Your Offering to Golden Venus

When the time is right, and you know that you just cannot live without your perfect girl any longer, attend Venus’s festival. After you have thrown your offering to Venus into the fire, pray that if the gods are pleased with you, then they will give you your ivory girl. If Venus deems you worthy, the fire will flare three times. When you return home that night, your girl of ivory will have become a real girl.

Step 5: Marry Her

For the final step, wife that girl up! Don't forget to invite Venus to the wedding to let her know how much you appreciate all she has done for you and your bride. 

I really hope all you heroes can now find the woman of your dreams! And once you've completed all five steps and are ready to take things to the next level, check out my next book: Pygmalion's Guide to Raising a Son So Great That Islands Will Be Named After Him.

Author's Note: This story is based off of the Roman myth of Pygmalion. In the myth, Pygmalion, a hero, lives the life of a bachelor but longs for love. He carves a statue of a beautiful woman and falls in love with it. Eventually, he prays to the Goddess of Love, Venus, that she will allow him to be with his "ivory girl." To show the gods' gratitude toward him and all that he has done for Cyprus, Venus grants his request by turning his statue into a real woman. Pygmalion immediately marries her and they soon have a son, Paphos, who the island is eventually named after. I really liked this story and felt it was one of the only myths to have a happy ending. I originally thought about changing the happy ending to a tragic one but then decided that was too cynical and instead decided to expand the happiness to other heroes in the myths. I thought that creating a guide for other people to follow made the whole statue love thing a little less creepy and really I just wanted people to get a good laugh out of it.


Bibliography. Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline (2000). Web Source.

Image Information. Pygmalion Seeing His Statue Come to Life by François Le Moine (1729).