Presence, Not Praise
I enjoyed this article because it referenced the idea of growth mindset and we all know how excited I get about that topic. I find it interesting how many articles aren't about giving someone negative feedback badly but are about feedback that most people wouldn't see as harmful to a person. It just shows that there is a really fine line between giving the proper balance of criticism so as not to hurt a person's self esteem but also not giving them undue praise.
(Read the full article at Presence, Not Praise)
Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback
This article attracted me because of the concept of looking forward. When we often think of feedback we do think of things to change in the future, but it's by referencing everything you did wrong in the past which doesn't exactly pump you up to fix things in the future. All you can remember with criticism isn't what you can do to fix a situation, it's what everyone said you did badly. This feedforward thing is really cool in that it's all just suggestions coming from a nonbiased perspective. If you are saying you want to be a better listener, nobody is going to say you interrupt a lot so maybe try not interrupting, instead all they are saying is good listeners don't interrupt. It doesn't seem like such a personal attack.
(Read the full article at Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback)
I'm pretty okay with getting feedback. I'm much better at receiving it on papers and other academic assignments because people usually give nicer and more constructive criticism. In real life, I feel like more people just tell you that what you did was wrong and that you suck but don't actually tell you how to fix it. That's not helpful at all and so I don't take personal feedback too well. I have a habit of taking things too personally but again that's in my personal life. I just like feedback that is constructive and can help me get better as a writer.
I read both of the articles on being a perfectionist because I am one but the article I liked the best of the two was Recalibrating the Perfectionist Mind. While the other article was helpful in a sense that it pointed out some of my perfectionist tendencies and made me realize that these are common things, it didn't give me a way to fix them. Recalibrating the Perfectionist Mind really hit the nail on the head with some of the issues that I face when I'm doing school work and then it told me how to stop myself from falling into those traps. It didn't really talk about receiving criticism or feedback, per say, but it will be a great reference for times when I feel myself getting bogged down by trying to not make mistakes.
I don't like rejection at all, but really who does? I mentioned before I can handle feedback on academic stuff and that includes rejection because that's part of school and grading is to get feedback so that you can do better. I was drawn to the article Why Rejection Hurts and What to Do About It mostly because of my fear of social rejection. I thought it was super helpful because it flat out said stop self-criticizing and start self-loving. I know that's much easier in theory but it can be done. I find myself constantly flip-flopping between tearing myself down and building myself up because I don't want people to think I'm vain but the truth is I'm pretty awesome.
